*Encore presentation from January 2018*
Join co-hosts Danielle and Garrett J White with Week three of the Date Your Wife Podcast, in which they share two VERY different views of how they were raised with money (or without) and how that has affected their relationship as a married couple.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex
Week 2: Money
Week 3: Parenting
Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY
Point #1: Having Expensive Tastes In Which Money Matters
- Money causes a ton of chaos within marriage, which will make or break the relationship, forcing you to deal with your spouse on a whole new level.
- Danielle was raised by entrepreneurs that focused on having a home that was up to date and something to have pride in, while to Garrett having a lot of money was unattainable unless you were a doctor with a swimming pool in your backyard, like a kid he remembers from school.
What kind of background were you raised in that has affected the way in which you approach your outlook on money within marriage?
Point #2: The War of Spending Money
- Danielle spent money because she wanted to experience life, but for Garrett, money was about spending money on business. They constantly threw each other under the bus in the way they each spent money.
- According to Danielle, Garrett was a selective cheap bastard. Eventually, she began seeing her role change from a Hobbyist into a Stylist, and along with that, her perspective also began changing.
If you could throw your spouse under the bus, what do you think they struggle with when it comes to spending money?
Point #3: ATMs and Porn Stars
- Garrett felt like the only way he had value was if he made money, and therefore when he made money he felt Danielle should put out for sex any time he wanted
- Women want to feel safe and secure. It becomes hard to have sex with your spouse when he’s no longer attractive as the Producer. The man doesn’t feel like he’s providing value to the relationship because of this role as well, in which his balls get cut off mentally.
What does being a Producer do to bring out the sexual dynamic within marriage?
Point #4: Learning from What Didn’t Work: The Cancun Contract
- With the Cancun Contract, it was 3 for 3: 3 Gifts for 3 Sex Sessions for 3 Weeks, which led to feeling more like they were purchasing prostitution in an attempt to give their marriage a shot based off of their love languages. They learned that using money as a manipulator didn’t work, but it eventually led to bigger breakthroughs later on.
- Garrett learned to invest because he wanted his wife to be happy. He started looking at money as a tool, not an asset, by shifting his wife towards being the asset, showing that Danielle mattered to him.
Where can you invest in your spouse with no strings attached, investing in experiences with your spouse and family? Where do you still need to permit yourself to receive without guilt?
Point #5: I Want You To Want To
- Hold yourself to a higher standard to push your spouse to become more, believing in them more than they believe in themselves.
- At one point, Garrett made a huge realization that sometimes the man IS the ATM, and you need to be OK with it because it shows that your wife is worth the investment. Danielle is a producer on her own, but she wanted him to want to be a man in seeing the value of investing in her. Now, they have both surrendered and are investing in each other.
How can a woman powerfully support and invest emotionally in her husband to encourage him to become a bigger producer?
Date Night Topic:
What improvements can you make regarding the topic of money?
Quote of the Week:
“I was raised to feel that you could get whatever you wanted in life if you are willing to work, but no one was going to save you. I didn’t know that I could want anything more than what I had. I learned that I needed to demonstrate in my marriage that my wife is worth spending money on and worth the investment.”
—Garrett J White
“If you want to be treated like a Queen, you’ve got to treat your man like a King. Women need to own their part and let go of the guilt when their husband invests in them. Stop getting stuck in the stories that your man isn’t fulfilling you, and realize that you may not be fulfilling HIS needs. If he’s putting in an effort, take the gifts he’s giving you and see how it feels to then harmonize in fulfilling his needs.”
–Danielle K White