Today’s conversation inside the Date Your Wife podcast centers around the importance of adding people to your team – the team of your marriage, family, and business – and features surprise guests who shed some additional light on this subject. It’s never a dull moment with the White’s as they navigate the ever-changing waters of marriage, family, and business, aka The Trifecta of Insanity.
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex
Week 2: Money
Week 3: Parenting
Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast…Money
Point #1: Babysitter, Nanny, or Home Manager?
- The first addition to team Garrett & Danielle? The important position of a Nanny/Home Manager, whose role is very different from that of a Babysitter. It’s vital to get really clear about the roles, compensation, and expectations of each of these BEFORE you add them to your team.
- In a cameo appearance, Bailey, the White’s twelve-year-old, clearly defines the distinction between these roles. “A Nanny/Home Manager is full-time and committed, works a lot, and actually likes the kids. They manage the household, the workers, and run errands for the parents. A Babysitter is like, “I need you to go to bed while I’m watching the Bachelor.”
How would bringing one of these on board change your family’s life?
Point #2: Does Overcompensation Lead to Entitlement?
- Whether it’s your place of business or home-related, overcompensating can lead to behaviors and feelings of entitlement, something Danielle and Garrett have
- Adds Danielle, “If you overcompensate people, it builds a lot of entitlement. They start creating stories in their mind where they can’t see anything else; they start painting you as the bad guy, and collect evidence to back those stories.”
Where have you experienced this as either the one feeling entitled or the one witnessing it?
Point #3: House Cleaner
- When adding a House Cleaner to your team, a couple of key things to consider are 1-trust and 2-being comfortable with leaving a mess and not feeling like you have to clean up BEFORE they arrive.
- Getting really clear on the role they are going to play is of utmost importance. What do you want them to do? What don’t you want them to do? What do you want your Home Manager to delegate to your House Cleaner? It’s up to you to communicate clear directions in order for everything to run smoothly.
How has having a House Cleaner on board improved your life and/or your relationships?
Point #4: This is a Man’s Job
- Danielle grew up with a father who was always hands-on when it came to
building, repairing, and handling big and small jobs around the house, something she expected Garrett to automatically take on as the “man of the house” after they were married. However, it didn’t exactly pan out the way she expected.
- Garrett decided he would take on the responsibility of caring for their pool to prove to Danielle that he was a “man,” but when his plan went sideways within the week and the pool was filled with moss, it was clear that some things are best left to the professionals.
What do you automatically expect your husband to do because it falls under the category of “that’s just what men do?”
Point #5: Let Go in Order to Grow
- Garrett: “As I sit here and look at the unit that has become the idea of family, just like an entrepreneur looks at their business and realizes he cannot do it by himself, that he must let go in order to grow, I’m going to have you consider that inside of your family life it’s no different.”
- “As you and your partner become more and more successful inside of the game of business and life, it’s actually selfish for you to continue to play the game so small. In order to play bigger, you’re going to have to involve more team members.”
If you were to look in your world right now, where is the one place in your life where you could bring someone on the team who could free you up so you could actually do the things that matters?
Have a conversation around this topic: It’s ok to bring people on the team to accelerate your marriage and your family. How do you both feel about this?
Date Night Topic:
Entertain the idea of creating space inside your team for a Babysitter, Nanny, or Home Manager and get really clear about the details, expectations, and compensation. What would that look like for your family? How would that clear up space for more family time, couple time, or alone time?
Quote of the Week:
“You cannot build a family without a team. It’s difficult, if not impossible to build your marriage and family to ultimately become what you want it to be if you’re trying to do it alone.”
—Garrett J White
“To women, let go. Test it out for a couple of months and just what happens. See if it makes an improvement, see what opens up in your relationship with your kids and your spouse. Could you find something else fulfilling to put your time towards?”
—Danielle K White