Welcome to the Date Your Wife podcast. This episode is dedicated to all the men who feel like they don’t have a voice when their wife is pregnant and who don’t know what to do with all of their sexual energy. 

Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex

Week 2: Money

Week 3: Parenting

Week 4: Communication

In This Week’s Podcast…SEX

Point #1: Stay In Your Corner

  • Garrett: There’s a phase inside of this where you’re super pumped because you’re having a lot of sex but you know the intention is to make a baby. Guys are then thrown into this corner and are put into this little shoebox during pregnancy and during the recovery after pregnancy.
  • “For basically a year, the woman goes to a place of sacrifice,” Garrett explains, “but a guy goes to a place of sacrifice, too.” (Cue Danielle’s emerging laughing in the background) “This is exactly why guys don’t get a voice on this because the level of mockery is so intense.”

As a guy, how do you deal with this?

Point #2: What to Expect When You’re Expecting…Penis Edition

  • There are a lot of guys who cheat during pregnancy because they don’t know what to do with all of their sexual energy. There’s no shortage of books and information for women, but practically nothing in place to prepare men for what they’ve just signed up for.
  • Guys want to have sex but generally don’t approach this topic with their wives. And there’s no blog post, book or podcast addressing this – there’s nothing in place to guide a man through the emotional hurricane of pregnancy.

Guys, what is your experience with this?

Point #3:  The Dichotomy

  • Garrett: When your wife gets pregnant, all of a sudden there’s a rising emotion that comes from the Gods. It’s protecting and nurturing. It’s a feeling of “I will fuck anyone up who comes close to this. Everyone is now a second-class citizen to the spouse with the baby in the belly.”
  • It completely suppresses the sexual drive between the man and the wife that he is curating and protecting. The challenge is, the sexual energy wants away from that environment and is immediately triggered by just about any female that walks the planet that is not pregnant.

How has this shown up in your marriage during pregnancy?

Point #4: The Penis Power Is a Decision

  • Many men stop instigating sex during pregnancy because they’re not sure how to deal with the rise of the protecting guardian, the decline of the sexual drive toward their wife, and the triggers outside of their relationship. And some men simply think it’s weird to have sex after their wife is six months pregnant.
  • Garrett: I’ve chosen to channel my sexual energy, although triggered all over the place, towards my beautiful, gorgeous pregnant wife. It’s a decision, even though you’re under suppression.

As a man, what are your thoughts about this?

Point #5: Society’s Advice

  • Garrett understands how bitchy and whiny men can come across on this topic, especially when “we’re not the ones who are going to have to push a pumpkin out of our penis after nine months!”
  • Society tells men, “Listen, asshole, you have no leg to stand on. You’re not the one whose body’s getting jacked and is going to spend twelve to eighteen months in recovery. Shut up pussy and just deal with it.”

What do you think about this?

Communication Challenge:

Have an open conversation around the challenges and the joys that both women and men face during pregnancy. What can you create together to bring more support and understanding to each other?

Date Night Topic:

During Date Night, engage in flirtatious banter you know will lead to a window of opportunity of sexual connection when you arrive home.

Quote of the Week:

“As I look at the ultrasound, I sit back in complete fascination in all of this. It’s so crazy that in a mass effort of about three minutes of participation, this thing happens.”

Garrett J White

“I want the pregnancy perks but I still want to be treated like me. If you know there’s a window, make a move on me. Pretend like I’m not pregnant.”

Danielle K White