Get ready for a spicy conversation in this week’s brand new episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast with married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White, who are preparing to enter a new chapter of their life with the arrival of baby Isla in eight weeks. Join them as they candidly discuss the challenges that come with pregnancy and the seasons & chapters the births of each of their children have opened up for them.
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:
Week 1: Sex
Week 2: Money
Week 3: Parenting
Week 4: Communication
In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION
Point #1: Pregnancy Desert
- The White’s are in full-on pregnancy mode as they enter the eight-week countdown for the arrival of baby Isla who is due to arrive mid-July 2019. Danielle has reached the mega uncomfortable stage where some mornings she struggles to roll out of bed, while Garrett admits they’re in the pregnancy desert when it comes to sex.
- “The last eight weeks, I literally transform into some kind of cartoon character. My body starts to retain water and it just gets super ugly. It’s rough.
Describe what life has been like in the home stretch phase of your pregnancies.
Point #2: His & Her Sacrifices
- When a woman is pregnant, the physical sacrifices she makes to carry and birth that baby are both substantial and obvious. The sacrifice men make, not so obvious. But Garrett says the sacrifices are nonetheless all too real and mostly go unnoticed and are not taken seriously.
- “As a guy, being in the homestretch is a very interesting game. How do I not be a dick and show up in a selfish way, and at the same time, how do I maintain and manage what I’m up to and what I’m about? When our wives are pregnant, we have no leg to stand on. And inside of that, there’s some serious stuff that goes on for us.”
What is the “unspoken” shit you go through as a man when your wife is pregnant?
Point #3: Roll Me Over
- Danielle has good days and bad days. Sometimes she barely notices she’s pregnant until she goes to get out of bed and feels like a potato bug stuck on its back.
- “It takes a lot of energy to be pregnant, and I feel like every ounce of energy I give has to be more focused. Even though I’m operating at fifty percent, that fifty percent is pretty damn good because I make sure whatever energy I put out is worth my time.”
Ladies, how is your energy when you’re pregnant? How does it affect your everyday routine?
Point #4: Suck It Up Phase
- As a man watching his wife go through pregnancy, Garrett feels super-protective and super supportive, yet he almost feels like they are in a holding pattern …even though they’re not. “I feel like, at some point, you and I lose connection through the pregnancy phase… but not in a bad way.”
- “It’s almost like we’re in a season of war where there are war rules and peace rules. During war, there’s a different set of principles. As a husband, I’m trying to stay active in the game and at the same time, support Danielle in whatever ways she needs. We’re in the homestretch of the ’suck it up’ phase.”
What does your ‘suck it up” phase look like?
Point #5: Why Do You Stay?
- Each child’s arrival into the White home has brought new life and a new chapter into their lives, and they feel baby Isla will do the same. “Every child has come at a different season in our life – Parker with my first wife, then Bailee right before things were about to fall apart, and then Ruby. Without the birth of Ruby, I don’t think we make it.”
- Danielle: I feel like a lot of times, women stay in relationships because of the children, or they use that as their excuse. Really, they just crave security, and that’s why they stay. And that’s kind of how it was with Ruby. She kept us together. Women want safety and security, no matter what form that comes in.
When things got tough in your marriage, what part did the children play in keeping you together and weathering the storms?
Do you think men make sacrifices when their wives are pregnant? Why or why not?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about the different seasons and chapters you entered after the births of each of your children.
Quote of the Week:
“Marriage itself is a game of seasons, and each season demands a different set of skillsets. But the one thing that has to always be there is two people who are showing up and offering as much as they can.”
—Garrett J White
“When you’re making a decision, don’t come up with excuses. Literally, look where you’re at and decide to make a decision that’s going to best support you. In supporting yourself, you support others. Not supporting yourself is actually selfish.”
—Danielle K White